But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
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