I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
Randomize
