even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
Randomize
