i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
Ladies don't puke and tell
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
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