You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Randomize
