I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Randomize
