I think I died a long time ago.
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
Randomize
