So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
Randomize
