Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
I love you.
Bad choice
Randomize
