love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
Do you have any cake mix? I kind of need to make a "im sorry i drank all your parents tequila, threw up all over your floor and slept with you boyfriend" cake.
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
Randomize
