I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
Randomize
