its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
Randomize
