i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
Randomize
