The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
Randomize
