i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
Randomize
