btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
Randomize
