my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
Randomize
