I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
We got so high we made milksteak
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Randomize
