i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
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