my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
Randomize
