is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
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