fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
Randomize
