is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
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