found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
Randomize
