My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
