What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
Randomize
