Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
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