wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
I just took what could be the most awkward shit in my life, which considering my definition of awkward and my experiences shitting, is pretty fucking awkward.
...
I was sitting there doing my business and the guy in the stall next to me banged on the stall and asked me how to spell picnic because he wasn't sure.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
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