Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize
