I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
God I need to hump something, right now.
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