She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
I smell like Dick and happiness
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
Randomize
