the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
