i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
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