Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
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