Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
Randomize
