I should be sponsored by Trojan
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
Randomize
