she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
Randomize
