youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
Randomize
