hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
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