My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
Well I just put wine in my tea
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
Randomize
