Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
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