STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
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