i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
Randomize
