Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Randomize
