It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
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