We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
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