At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Randomize
