Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
Randomize