My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
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