you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
Are we in a gay sports bar?
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
