D3 body, D1 cock
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
Randomize
