if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
I think a kid would responsible me up
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
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