i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
Randomize
