So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
no more duck duck goose at the bar
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
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