somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
Randomize
