they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
Randomize
