I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
Randomize
