if i can run in heels then i can drive
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
It was his birthday this weekend. I had to carry him 6 blocks, in 3 inch heels. The entire time he was trying to molest me, eat my face, and try to stop every two feet to tie his shoe. He would light a cigarette, forget about it, almost burn everyone, throw it out, then decide he wanted to smoke. He kept repeating that he trusts me with his life.
...Wow...
I could be a kindergarten teacher
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
How does it feel to date your dad?
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
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