I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
we're so committed to being not committed
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
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